Pen Ward and JG Quintel: THE ULTIMATE CRACK SHIP
by CodeAires
Summary: Pen and JG have been friends for years, but what happens when, for the sake of trolling their fan bases, they pretend to be more than friends? CHAOS ENSUES! This is a parody and is a response to the AT episode All The Little People. Rated M for language, drug use, and eventual sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

It was a typical day at the Cartoon Network studios in Burbank, CA. JG Quintel, the creator of Regular Show, was pouring over storyboard drafts in his office, looking for plot holes and continuity errors. His deep brown, almond-shaped eyes were growing weary of seeing panel after panel of the characters he had created with love and care so many years ago. Considering his lack of interest in writing storylines for his own show, he simply had to boss writers around about what Mordecai and Rigby could and couldn't do. As much as he loved his work, it was more than evident to him that he needed a vacation.

The clock chimed out in his office. It was 5 PM, which meant it was time to head home for the day. JG made his way down the studio hall with all of the storyboard drafts in hand, intending to give them to the writers before heading to his car and speeding the hell out of dodge. Just then, in another room, he overheard two writers for another show talk about a friend of his in not-so friendly terms. JG lingered outside the door, listening to what they had to say.

"I honestly think he's full of shit", one writer said, "He honestly thinks that four people can just do his dirty work while he sits around playing online games all day? No wonder Rebecca wants to quit"

"Yeah man", another writer started, "Just like today. I swear to fucking god, he's been in his office for eight straight hours and hasn't left. I know he's not working on anything. The fat fucker's probably sleeping or attempting to rip off Homestuck plotlines"

JG had about enough of these two goons dissing someone that he cared about a great deal. He stormed into the room, looked both writers in the eye, and handed them the storyboard sheets.

"Give these to Sean and Calvin", JG said, "At least they're grateful to have a boss that lets them be creative, instead of acting like a couple of self-absorbed douche bags"

JG left the room in a huff, his blood boiling ever so slightly. It was one thing to be uninspired by your own work, but it was another thing entirely to have staff that simply mocked your inability to contribute out in the open. He had every intention of walking into Pen's office to tell them about what happened. He approached the door and knocked softly.

There was no response.

"Dude, it's me" JG said, a Mordecai-tinged lilt in his voice "Open the door, Pen, I know you're in there, Pen! Open the door Pen, I know you're in there, Pen! Yayuh!"

"Come in" a voice replied, sounding rather droll and uninterested. JG opened the door, only to find his good friend, Adventure Time creator Pendleton Ward, sitting in his work chair with a blank, zapped-out expression on his face, staring at his computer screen. His eyes were blood-shot, and his right hand was literally glued to the computer's mouse.

"Uhh, dude…are you okay?" JG asked

"James, sit down", Pen commanded. JG knew something serious must be up, because Pen never called him James unless there was a personal matter to be discussed.

"Read this", Pen commanded again. Upon looking at the screen more clearly, JG groaned to himself.

"Oh god, are you on Tumblr again?"

"This morning, I was just going to post an update about a gaming expo I got invited to. Then I made the mistake of tracking the Adventure Time tag. Then I found this…I found…oh god. Just read this part"

JG scrunched his eyebrows together and the small text before him, and then he began to softly read aloud.

"_Now that her legs were spread apart and frozen in place, Ice King knew he had her where he wanted her. He slid his hands across her luminescent, orange frame, causing the poor girl to shriek at every little touch. He was torturing her, but the old man didn't care._

"_Ice King climbed on top of Flame Princess and slid his cold, icy love rod deep into her fiery hot cave, thrusting in and out as hard as he could. 'Stop! You're hurting me!' Flame Princess cried. Ice King just laughed maniacally and sped up the pace. 'STOP IT! YOU'RE PUTTING ME OUT!' Flame Princess screamed in agony. 'Oh baby, it's YOU that's doing all the…putting…out…'"_

JG sat there beside his friend, feeling filthy and disgusting over what he had just read.

"Oh my god. I can't…god, what's wrong with people?" He muttered.

"You know, it's really going to fuck these crack shippers up when they find out that Flame King and Ice King are brothers in Season 6", Pen said dryly, "Then whoever wrote this piece of shit will suddenly realize that they made Simon rape his niece"

"Ugh, this is worse than the story Benton linked me to once where Rigby died in his sleep, and Muscle Man fisted his corpse and turned him into a sock puppet" JG groaned, "I still have nightmares about the part where Mordecai is forced to blow Muscle Man while the Rig-Dummy taunts him"

Pen turned away from the computer screen and took a sip of water. "You know," he started, "when I first started creating this show, I knew that there would be fan fiction. I knew there would be x-rated shit out there, it happens in all fandoms. I don't care how many times they ship PB with Marceline or what they make the characters do when they're adults, but seriously, these fucking rape and incest stories are making me sick. It's like they're taking my childhood dreams and just shitting all over them. It kind of hurts"

JG moved closer to his friend and put an arm around him for comfort. He knew how sensitive of a guy that Pen could be, especially when it involved his work and what others were doing to it.

"Dude, those awful ones are really the minority though", JG insisted, "I've read a few fan fics that were actually good, or at least just funny from being so awful. I mean, the PB and Marcy ones are really cute. Actually they're really hot. I kind of jerked off to one of them once"

"Yeah, I've jerked off to them too" Pen laughed "One thing I get a kick out of is blue-balling fans that want PB and Marcy to be canon. I mean, there's going to be an episode when they finally come out, but it won't be until like the 6th or 7th season when everyone's lost hope. Then I'll just make them randomly kiss and they'll go crazy, and I'll be all 'Haha, look at me, I'm Pen Ward. I can play Glob to any character I want'"

JG laughed heartily. "Maybe I should make Margaret and Benson hook up in a future episode just to shake things up"

Just then, Pen's eyebrows drew together, and then a wicked smile formed on his face.

"Hey Jay, you know what we should do? We should write our own fan fiction. We should create some fake account and just crack-ship every character between our shows"

"Sounds like the most evil yet awesome idea ever" JG grinned, "And I know just what we need to come up with some wicked ideas"

"Already ahead of you" Pen said as he reached for a small knapsack. He reached inside and pulled out a pipe and two baggies.

"Dude, we'll need more than that if we want to write the ultimate crack-ship" JG laughed. "How about these?"

JG reached into his pocket and pulled out ten little bright-colored tabs. "I think both of these together will get us just in the right fucked up frame of mind to write this shit"

"I haven't tripped in two years, man" Pen said with hesitation, "Not sure I want to go there again"

"Ahh come on, just one more party night for old time's sake?" JG said with a cartoonish whimper in his tone.

"Oh, all right. Before we do anything though, you gotta run to the 7-11 and get as much junk food as humanly possible. Also, any classic rock CDs you have in your car need to be in this office right the fuck now"

"Aye aye, Captain"

JG promptly headed for the car. All he could do was flash a cheekish smile. Tonight was going to be absolutely crazy, like the kind of crazy nights he and Pen had during their art school years. He opened the car door and the first CD he found was Pink Floyd's _Dark Side of the Moon_.

"Aww yay-uh!"


	2. Chapter 2

It was a little after Midnight, and the studios were virtually abandoned, save for a few janitors, and of course, two certain "kid's show" creators. By this time, JG and Pen were impossibly high and completely spaced out. Several pipe hits and two tabs a piece had their brains completely on standby mode. Cream's song "White Room" blared in the background as the two newly christened 30-somethings laughed like adolescent boys at random pornographic fan art tributes to both of their creations. The further into /co/ they trolled, the more and more delirious they became.

"Dude…I n-never thought Skips could be that fucking flexible" Pen laughed while taking another hit.

"Hey Jake, do you think you could stretch that thing a little farther? I want it coming out my mouth!" JG cackled.

"'Oh Lollipop Girl, you give the best head ever!' Pops moaned as the long, skinny girl suckled his sweet, fructosean nectar" Pen read aloud, "Dude, 'fructosean' isn't even a real word you dumb bitch!"

"You know who else is gonna suckle that fructosean nectar?" JG started

"MY MOM!" they yelled in unison, hi-fiving one another afterward.

The sound stereo shuffled over to Led Zeppelin's "Communication Breakdown", leading JG to do a few sloppy, uncoordinated air guitar solos. Pen scrolled down a bit until he found one piece of fan art that nearly made him choke on his beer.

"OH GOD" Pen yelled, "Dude, look at this!"

"Communication breakdown, na na naaa!" JG mumbled, still into his dubious air guitar solo. Pen tugged on his shoulder to get his friend's attention.

"JAMES GARLAND QUINTEL. FUCKING LOOK AT THIS. SERIOUSLY."

JG looked up at the screen, slightly annoyed, but then he felt slightly confused. The fan art consisted of a humanized Mordecai making out with another human male. Then suddenly, in his hazy state of mind, JG realized what was going on in the picture.

"Whoa…wait a minute…dude, is that me?" JG asked

"Yeah dude, it fucking is! God! It's you making out with fucking Mordecai"

"That means I'm making out with my self. MIND FUCK!"

Pen read the caption underneath the post:

"_Oh my god I wish JG would make out with Mordecai or like blow him or something. Maybe they could Eiffel tower with Benson. That would make my nuts butter"_

Even more hysterical laughs erupted, so much so that Pen fell out of his chair. The two moved over to the sofa in the back of the room, falling over on the cushions and just bellowing out laugh after laugh for a solid ten minutes.

"B-butter my nuts baby!" JG laughed

"Oh my glob, stop buttering my nuts Tony! Deez nuts don't need no butter!" Pen said in LSP voice, making JG laugh even harder.

"Dude, my fucking cheeks hurt! Stop!"

"There are so many chicks out there that think you're hot stuff," Pen said, "I'm really kind of jealous"

"It's kind of weird though. I don't know, I never thought I looked that good, but whatever…heh heh, butter nuts"

"Mordecai is like the hottest cartoon dude ever" Pen joked

"Yeah I am!" JG answered in Mordecai voice.

"Oh, GLOB. Mordecai, I've got to let you fondle my lumps!" Pen said in LSP voice.

The two carried on with rather suggestive banter in their characters' respective voices for about a minute, when an idea crossed Pen's mind.

"Hey, I think we've got our crack-ship: Mordecai and LSP!" he laughed, "We can even make recordings of them getting busy in our voices"

JG, who normally thought of ideas in a flash, was struggling with comprehension in his stoned-out state. But then, just then, he suddenly got an idea that would trump any other the two could come up with.

_"Dude, don't you get it? Look at us!" JG said, his pupils wider than ever._

_"No, what the hell are you talking about?" Pen asked_

_"Dude, LOOK. AT. US! It's us, man! US! We're the ultimate crack-ship!"_

_Pen's eyes grew wider than his friend's, and he slowly backed away._

_"Hey, you're kind of creeping me out with that"_

_"Think about it though! We just make a few GIFs of us kissing and then everyone on Tumblr will think we're serious, and then we'll be the ultimate ship"_

_"No offense dude, but I really don't like you like that" Pen said, his voice full of hesitance._

_JG took another hit from the pipe and laughed. _

_"No, no! I'm not saying we've gotta fuck or whatever, I'm just saying we should try making out with each other and film it on your webcam. Every fucking girl out there will glob so many gooeys, man!"_

_"Uhh, well I guess so. It would be pretty damn funny"_

_"See, it would be funny as hell, and it would be like the best way to troll our fan bases ever. First, you gotta try to kiss me. I promise I don't have cooties"_

_"Do we have to right now?" Pen asked anxiously, "I don't really know-"_

_"Trust me. I'm one of your best friends, okay?" JG re-assured._

_JG moved in closer to his friend on the sofa, putting an arm around his heavy-set frame. His other hand caressed the side of Pen's face. He laughed a bit at seeing Pen look so nervous. God, it was just a fucking kiss! It's nothing weirder than what either of them did during their college years._

_Without much thought on the matter, JG softly kissed Pen on the lips. The kiss lasted about two seconds and was sweet and simple._

_"Now, that wasn't scary, was it?" JG grinned_

_"Dude, I just don't go around kissing people. It's awkward" Pen said, his tone still hesitant._

_"For the next few days, just act like you love me. We have to keep this going for a while if we really want to be sufficient trolls" JG stated_

_"Oh, okay, I guess. Umm, just no tongue"_

_"Baahh, you're no fun! We have to put some tongue in there. Shippers will call bullshit if we don't"_

_Pen sighed and rolled his glassy eyes. He took a hit from the pipe and leaned his head backwards on the sofa's head._

_"Look, it's for a few days, like five days tops. I'm into chicks, you're into chicks, we're not dating and totally not fucking. It's for fun, Pen. Jesus, you can be stuffy. Just lighten up and let's have a good time with this, okay?"_

_Pen shrugged. "Okay, if you say so. Go ahead and slobber on me"_

_In a bold and strange move, JG straddled his friend on the sofa and kissed him with a significant amount of force. Pen opened his mouth and the two shared a french kiss that reeked of weed smoke and Doritos. There was nothing really sexy about it, and midway through their tongue-wrestling, JG and Pen both started laughing. They ended the kiss and fell back on the sofa, chuckling over what they just did._

_"Oh, oh my god!" JG laughed, "That was actually kind of hot!"_

_"If by hot you mean messy and smelly, than yeah!" Pen responded, his chubby cheeks red with laugher._

_"So it's on then?" JG asked, still laughing_

_"Oh, it's fucking ON, man. It is SO. ON."_

_JG leaned in closer to Pen, and made a sound with his throat that sounded like the horn on a cruise liner._

_"FRRRNNNKK FRRRNNNK!"_

_"What the fuck was that for?" Pen said, confused._

_"This ship has sailed, captain! All hands on deck!"_

_"Heh heh, 'all hands'"_

_The two stoned-out buddies stayed in Pen's office overnight, watching stupid internet videos until they both fell asleep._


	3. Chapter 3

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon. JG and Pen had the day off from work, so it was the perfect time for them to meet up and begin on their devious mission – to prove their "love" to Adventure Time and Regular Show fans. JG had spent the whole morning lounging around in his underwear, watching Beavis & Butthead DVDs while eating leftovers from the night before. It was a harkening back to his bachelor days, before he became a family man and an Emmy-award-winning screenwriter. Even though he loved having a meaningful, responsible life, at times he still missed the days when he could just get stoned and eat junk food all day, peppering a few obscene sketches into his art journal for good measure.

JG was just about to reach for another mouthful of double chili cheese nachos when his phone rang. "Slow Ride" by Free jingled in the background while his good buddy Pen's name displayed on the screen.

"Yoooo, whazzup dood?" JG asked obnoxiously.

"Nothing. Just scratching my ass and playing Angry Birds" Pen answered.

"Niiiccceee. So, when are you coming over?"

"Probably in about an hour or so"

"Okay, I've got some really funny ideas, so get here ASAP"

"Alright man, see you later"

JG spent the next hour changing into jeans and his favorite 2112 shirt, setting up his webcam and creating a fake Tumblr account. Soon enough, the doorbell rang and he leapt up from the sofa to let Pen inside. Pen was wearing pajama bottoms and an old Daft Punk shirt that was ripped on the side.

"Well you look fresh to death, good sir" JG teased.

"Yeah yeah. I was too lazy to change…or shower"

"It's cool, I haven't showered either"

"Ooh, maybe we should shower together and film it in slo-mo like those body wash commercials" Pen said with a chuckle.

"Ohhh gooodddd, or like those old Herbal Essences commercials from the '90s. We could wash each others' hair and be like 'OHHHH YES!"

The two were obviously in jovial spirits, despite the fact that just two days earlier, they had awakened at 7 AM in Pen's office at Cartoon Network studios with the worst hangovers imaginable. Somehow, it really didn't matter. They were determined to create something that would defy all logic and just give people something to talk about.

"Okay, so I got the webcam up and running, and I created a Tumblr for us to share" JG explained. "I tried several URLs and all of them were taken, so I settled on Our-Regular-Adventures. Is that cool?"

"Yeah, that works. I don't care what it is. It could be Llamasbuttfuckingatangerine and I wouldn't care"

"Haha, good. Now, we need to think about what we're going to say to everyone"

The two friends thought it out a bit, and then settled on a sort of 'script' that they would act out during the first part of the video.

"Then we're going to turn to the camera and kiss. The rest will be total improv" JG said

"Uhh…okay…"

"Dude, you're still comfortable with me kissing you, right?"

"Yeah…I guess"

"Pretend I'm some really hot chick with big tits when we're kissing"

"That's kind of hard to do, since you've got scruff"

"Heh, just pretend I'm the bearded lady at a circus, and that's what you're turned on by"

"Bitch please, I'm obviously the bearded lady!" Pen said while stroking his golden chin locks.

"Okay, well pretend I'm…oh never mind. Just kiss me"

Pen nodded and clicked on Tumblr's "Video" tab, and then selected to record a new video with JG's webcam. JG pressed record on the webcam, and the two began their dubiously twisted tale of passion for the world to consume.

_[This sequence is how the video played out]_

_Pen: Hey, what's up internet? This is Pen Ward here!_

_JG: And this is JG Quintel, also known as Mr. Wiggles!_

_Pen: Drop ka-boom baby rub on yo nipples!_

_JG: [laughs] Anyway, we've created a brand new Tumblr account that will be full of us doing fun things together._

_Pen: Like riding bikes, feeding goldfish, walking on broken glass, crying at Mufasa's death in The Lion King, shaving our legs…you know, guy stuff._

_JG: Yep, and there's also something we want to talk about with our fans. You know, we've been reading a lot of fan fiction,_

_Pen: A LOT of fan fiction._

_JG: And we've decided to come up with our own ultimate ship. We thought about LSP and Mordecai since that's the characters we voice,_

_Pen: But then we got a better idea, one that I think you'll like a lot. It's kind of like Marshall Lee and Gumball, only a little more…real._

_JG: Keepin' it real is my thing, homz._

_Pen: What we're trying to say is that we're –_

_JG: We're…really fucking into this._

_[JG turns to Pen and they begin kissing. One small kiss leads to French kissing. They are passionate with one another, Pen's hands caressing JG's face, and then JG kissing around Pen's neck. This lasts for about half a minute, before they part]_

_JG: So now you know._

_Pen: We couldn't keep it a secret. I love this man._

_JG: Aww, I love you too, Penny._

_Pen: We want you to ship us. Please, ship us HARD._

_JG: The submit box is open! Send us your best stories and fan art, and then we'll jerk off to it!_

_Pen: Or we'll jerk off each other!_

_JG: Peace out, dudes!_

_Pen: Peace out!_

_[JG and Pen kiss one last time, and then the video ends]_

A few hours later, JG and Pen met up with a few other friends for dinner at a swanky restaurant in downtown Los Angeles. Over steak, shrimp, and a few margaritas, new ideas for Adventure Time episodes were tossed back and forth between Pen and his writers. A few moments later, Pen's phone rang out, and upon seeing the name on the ID screen, he instantly became sick at his stomach.

"Fuck" He said aloud.

"Who is it?" One writer asked.

"It's the boss"

Just then, JG's phone began ringing as well. He looked down and sure enough, it was the head of the Cartoon Network subdivision in Atlanta, Georgia.

"Don't worry, I've got this" JG said. He stepped outside the restaurant and answered the call.

_JG: Hello?_

_Boss: What the fuck is wrong with you?_

_JG: Huh? What now?_

_Boss: You know what the fuck I'm talking about! Are you trying to get us fined?_

_JG: Look, that joke in the last episode about dude cheese was kind of over the top, but-_

_Boss: NO, James! NO! I'm talking about the video!_

_Oh shit, JG thought in his head._

_JG: Uhh, listen. That video was make as a joke for our-_

_Boss: We can't have the creators of our two biggest animated shows fagging it up on social media!_

_JG: Excuse me? Did you just say "fagging it up?"_

_Boss: Yeah, because that's what you're fucking doing! What if the kids see this?  
_

_JG: You know what? If you're going to use language like that to describe me kissing one of my best friends, then you can go fuck yourself. I don't care anymore._

JG hung up the phone and marched back inside the restaurant. Pen wasn't at his seat, which worried him a bit. He decided to check the bathroom, where sure enough, he found his good friend hiding in one of the stalls.

"Hey, I think we need to talk" JG called out

"Did you beg him to forgive us and say you'd remove the video, because that's what I did" Pen said meekly.

"Nope. I told him that if he couldn't handle the sight of us kissing, he could go fuck himself. Besides, he used the other f-word. That's just inexcusable."

Pen rammed his head against the stall's wall, letting out a frustrated grunt.

"Well that's it, then. We're done" Pen groaned, opening the stall door slightly.

"Seriously, why would Cartoon Network give that much of a shit? Probably not that many people even saw it"

"James, it got 11, 834 notes in six hours. Someone ripped it and put it on YouTube. It has 300,450 views there. There are already YouTube poops of it and Sparta remixes. It's a full-blown meme. WE'RE FUCKING DEAD"

"So what? We can just do the shows on our own and have more freedom"

"Don't you get it? If we get fired and the shows get pulled, there's no money anymore! I can't afford to do all this shit on my own!"

"So money matters more to you?"

"Right now, yes! Ukulele tournaments and Korean transsexual torture porn subscriptions don't pay for themselves!"

JG sighed and put his head in his hands, but then thought of a plausible solution.

"Look, what we need to do is make another video and let people know we were joking around, and-"

"NO!" Pen yelled rather loudly, "The last thing we need to do is make another fucking video! This was the worst idea you've ever had, and I hate you for it!"

"Don't lay this on me! You could have said no!"

"How could I say no? I was fucking high and you took advantage of me!"

"Were you high earlier today when we fucking made the video? No. You didn't look high to me. You could have just said, 'JG, I don't want to do this anymore', and I would have been all 'Okay, whatever. Let's play some Halo' and be done with it. No, you walked in all excited like 'Oh my god! We're going to swap spit on camera and troll our dumb-shit teenybopper fans!' It's your fucking fault, too!"

JG was slowly growing angry with his friend, but he silently vowed to keep his cool, because he never liked to lose his temper with anybody. Pen, on the other hand, was sniffling a little bit, and looked like he was going to cry.

"I just wanted to have fun. I wanted to have fun fucking with the people that like to fuck with us all day, every day" Pen said

"Well it was fun, wasn't it? We said dumb shit to a camera and made out, and everyone got trolled hard. Mission accomplished, even if we are losing our jobs"

"It wasn't just that," Pen continued, "I…didn't just enjoy trolling people, James. I liked it…I liked it when you kissed me"

JG's eyes widened and he entered the stall, shutting the door behind him.

"You what?"

"It's so weird, but when we were making out, I actually liked it. God, I'm so sorry. I don't like you like that or anything, but…okay, I don't kiss that many people because kissing really gets me off. If I kiss somebody, it gets me going and then I just want to fuck"

Just like that, JG's anger suddenly turned into a giddy exasperation. He started laughing, while still keeping a tone in his voice like he wanted to ram his fist into someone's face.

"Oh my god. You like kissing me…OH MY GOD. I can't!" JG bleated out between huge laughs.

Pen blushed and looked down at the grimy tiles below.

"You're a really good kisser, James. You come on so strong and sensual, but you're not forceful. I mean, even when we kissed that first time when we were trashed, you kissed me like you wanted to fuck. That wasn't the kiss of a guy just messing around with a friend for the lulz. That was a 'I want to give you head' kind of kiss, the way you kind of bite when you pull away and all"

JG's face turned a bright red shade, and he too could only look down at the tiled floor.

"I kiss everybody like that. I kiss my wife like that. I kissed my exes and hookups like that. That's the only way I know how to kiss somebody, other than a peck on the cheek, and you know what? You're not the first guy I've ever kissed, either. You know that joke about how every dude has that 'one time' in college with some other dude? Yeah, I had three times, one of which led to head. I'm not sorry either. I'm not gay, but I was curious, and maybe, just maybe, little Pendleton Ward is curious, too. It's cool. I'm just laughing because I can't believe that some goofy idea we got a couple of days ago both led to us being out of work and confessing our feelings and shit. Damn, dude! It's just funny as fuck!"

Suddenly, Pen's embarrassment turned into little laughs as well. Before long, he was chuckling like he was in a regular jolly old mood. JG stood there, feeling confused and actually a bit vulnerable.

"Well then…I guess we have nothing else to hide now, do we?" Pen snorted out, "We are so royally screwed, man"

"You know what? Fuck Turner Broadcasting. We can take control of our shows somehow, and we can fight back"

"Umm, you know they have the rights to our shows, right? We don't own them anymore"

"Why let that stop us? We'll claim that it's fan fiction. We are going to write Adventure Time and Regular Show episodes, animate them old-school, and claim them as fan fics of the 'Official' Cartoon Network product that we can't even control anymore"

"So the creators become the most famous fan fiction writers", Pen said, scratching his golden beard, "Life is a peculiar thing, isn't it?"

"Yep…now come on, let's finish our dinner before it gets cold", JG said, opening the stall door, "We can figure out how hard we're going to go at this later"

Just as he said this, both Pen and JG saw one of Adventure Time's writers standing right outside the stall, a perplexed look on his face.

"I'm…I'm not even going to ask" the writer said before entering the stall next to them.

Giggling slightly, Pen and JG exited the bathroom and headed back to their seats.

"Hey, about that whole gay experience in college thing", Pen started, "You said something about head. Did you give or receive?"

"Oh I gave. I gave that motherfucker the best head he's ever likely to get" JG said, licking his lips suggestively before laughing again.

"That's the only time you've ever given head?"

"Who said it was the only time? I just mentioned what I did during college, not after"

"Umm…okay…"

"You want me to blow you, don't you? That's it, right?" JG laughed again.

"No! I just didn't know what you meant back there"

"Riiiggghhht. Sure you did"

Both men returned to their tables and acted as if nothing happened at all. However, they both knew how serious their situations had become. The shows they had poured so much hard work into were no longer theirs to own or manage. Jobless and ultimately powerless, they knew that enacting the ultimate troll farce of officially unofficial fan fiction for their creations was the only way to get even. Soon, they would have their revenge…but not before a few more margaritas and the rest of their juicy sirloins.


End file.
